After 37 years of marriage. Jake dumped his
wife for his Young secretary.
His new girlfriend demanded that they live in
Jake and Edith’s multi million dollar home and since
the man’s lawyers were a little better he prevailed.
He gave Edith his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.
She spent the 1st day packing her belongings
into boxes crates and suitcases.
On the 2nd day she had to movers come
and collect her things.
On the 3rd day she sat down for the last time at
their beautiful dining room table by candlelight put
on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished she went into each and
every room and stuffed half-eaten shrimp shells dipped
in caviar into the hollow of all of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend
all was bliss for the first few days.
Then slowly the house began to smell.
They tried everything cleaning mopping and airing the
place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and
carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during
which they had to move out for a few days and in the end
they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting.
NOTHING WORKED.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairman
refused to work in the house.
The Maid quit.
Finally they could not take the stench any
longer and decided to move.
A month later even through they had cut their price
in half they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually even the local realtors
refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow
a huge sum of money from the bank
to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things
were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely and said that she missed her old
home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell
was he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what
the house ha been worth, but only if she were to sign
the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour
his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood
smiling as they watched the moving company pack
everything to take to their new home.
INCLUDING THE CURTAIN RODS…
