A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home
from work and his wife says, “Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the
pipes is leaking, could you fix it?” The husband says, “What do I look like, Mr.
Plumber?” A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, “Honey,
the car won’t start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?” He
says: “What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?” Another few days go by, and it’s raining
pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, “Honey, there’s a leak on the
roof! Can you please fix it?” He says, “What do I look like, Bob Vila?” The next day the
husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks
his wife what happened. “Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them,” she says.
“Great! How much is that going to cost me?” he snarls. Wife says: “Nothing. He said
he’d do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him.” “Uh, well, what kind of
cake did you make?” asks the husband. “What do I look like,” she says, “Betty
Crocker?”
